He is Enough

A few weeks ago, my team led church! You might be saying, what do you mean your team led church? Where? Do you guys even have church?

The answer is yes! We have squad church! Every Sunday our squad gathers, just as members of a physical church or congregation would, and we worship! Each week, a different team leads or hosts church. The team is responsible for deciding what church will look like, so they can make it however they feel it needs to be; we usually worship and have a sermon or a few people share on whatever topic it is, but church can really be anything that brings our community closer to the Lord!

A few weeks ago, my team got to lead church! We had such a great time and got to use each person’s unique abilities the lead! The preparation and planning was such a sweet time together as a team. The baristas on my team (Emma and Kenzie) had the cutest coffee bar, I got to serve fresh fruit and brownies (fun fact: serving food is my favorite thing now) and Morgan and Anjali worked to set up the decorations so nicely. We prayed over verses for everyone and made name cards with the verse on it for them. We stuck notes on the wall with words such as “worthy” or “daughter” and told people to take whatever note they needed to remind themselves of that. Emma, Kenzie, and Anjali started us out with amazing worship, I had the opportunity to give the sermon, and Morgan headed the activation time at the end.

My sermon was titled “He is enough.” I had volunteered to speak before we had even agreed on a topic (thanks God for growing me in boldness.) When we had decided on the topic, I just kind of thought to myself, “I don’t really know how I’m going to do this well.” I didn’t know what I would say, whether or not it would be long enough, or how to elaborate on something that seemed so obvious. What I didn’t realize was the Lord had been constantly convicting, constantly asking me if He was enough for me in so many different ways. He had been preparing me and teaching me what it meant for him to be enough.

He had been calling me to abandonment and surrender to receive fullness and sufficiency in him. He had been telling me not just to abandon physical comforts such as my bed, a toilet, shower, heat and A/C but to surrender my plans, expectations, habits, emotions, circumstances, need for control, and so much more. To surrender even the good things that are of the Lord, because at the end of the day our hope and reliance needs to be in him alone. To open our hands of what we feel we need or want so that we can cling to him instead. He had been showing me what it looked like and meant to surrender; that it isn’t a one time thing but a continual process that we get to choose every day, that when we choose it we are stepping into sufficiency.

He had been revealing brokenness to bring me into greater dependency and strength in him. He had been showing me that while our brokenness as humans and the brokenness of this world is ugly, painful, messy, and hard, he actually makes it beautiful. That he uses something that was meant to be totally against us to bring us into greater dependency in him. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) That when we allow him to rip off the band aid he can treat the wound, but we have to be willing to acknowledge there is a wound in the first place. That when he brings us to the places that literally make us say “I can’t,” he’s really inviting us to say “I can’t but you can.” He is inviting us into communion, inviting us to sit with him, to cry with him, to be held by him, to be strengthened by him. (Read What God taught me in staring at an empty house and broken drywall)

He had been revealing to me that if he isn’t enough, nothing else ever will be. That I cannot expect to be permanently satisfied by a world that is constantly changing. That in putting out hope in the things of this world, we are only doing ourselves a disservice. That he is the only thing that is constant and steadfast (Isaiah 54:10.) That instead of asking for more of this or that, I have the opportunity to ask for more and more of him everyday, and I get to rest in the fact that he will give it to me, that there is always more. He had been showing me that I can choose to embrace him as enough daily. That I can choose to have a heart of worship and gratitude, that I can choose remembrance, expectancy, and hope. That regardless of what I have or don’t have, regardless of a circumstance or feeling, he is the same God yesterday, today, and forever. That he really is GOOD. That as a heavenly father, he cares for his children.

Ultimately, he’s never going to stop asking us if he is enough. Every time we think the answer is yes, he will continue to ask us and continue to challenge us to surrender and sufficiency. So I can say the answer is Yes. He is enough. He is enough when I’m living out of a backpack, freezing every morning, taking cold showers in a shipping container, having porta potties for bathrooms, and a bank account that doesn’t look like what it used to. He is enough when I’m away from my friends and family, he is enough even if I am misunderstood, he is enough if I were to lose ___. He is enough even in a year as crazy as 2020. And he will be enough.

All that being said, I am so thankful my team had the opportunity to host church, and so thankful for all that we learned from it. Also, I have a voice recording of my sermon and would be more than happy to send it to you if you wish!