Beauty in Brokenness

The Lord has been revealing a lot to me lately, and he told me to share this with you. 

    Busyness. Busyness is what I used to escape brokenness. I kept myself so busy I didn’t have time to think about what I was feeling deep down. So I pushed it down further. God had enough of me pushing things down and holding myself back.

    I’ve been on break from school for almost a month now, leaving me with a lot more down time than usual. This down time has left a lot of time for me, Jesus, and my thoughts. It allowed brokenness to make its way in. Down time led to boredom which turned into loneliness and overthinking. I thought I could ignore the brokenness I sensed coming, or get distracted, or do anything to get away from it. But I couldn’t, and it wasn’t fun. I like to run away from my problems, but God made me face it head on. Not just any minor problem. All of the emotions I had been pushing down had finally exploded and left me a mess. (I think every racer can agree that the World Race is an emotional rollercoaster in itself, and when you add regular life to that it is crazy to process.) This didn’t just hit me, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He made me come to realize for myself that brokenness is inescapable.  

    Brokenness hits us in different seasons, in times where it’s least expected. It comes in different forms like fear, anxiety, depression, isolation, turmoil, pain, and more. This is extremely discouraging and tough. I wasn’t expecting to be hit with brokenness so hard recently. I didn’t understand why it was happening. But what he revealed to me was that he uses brokenness to impose needed change in our lives. He uses brokenness to give way for surrender and bring us back into his fullness. Surrender is the only thing that puts God at the center of brokenness. Surrender is the only action that allows God to work in our lives, because He can only work with what we are willing to give to him. When we ignore our brokenness, we can’t fully comprehend our need for Him. When we refuse to let him work on certain parts of us to avoid pain, we get stuck.

    We really only have two options- to surrender or not. Yes, surrender is painful. Growth is painful. But what is more painful is to miss out on what God has for us because we are too scared or prideful to let him work in us. On my trip, I guarantee I will experience more brokenness than ever before, with less opportunity to escape it. This is scary, but I know that God will grow me more than ever before through it.

    Surrender is a part of sanctification. Sanctification is without a doubt, painful because sanctification is becoming more like Jesus. He endured more pain than we ever will while taking on the brokenness of this world. Jesus told us that we would have trouble. He told us this would not be easy. He told us to pick up our cross daily. BUT he also told us that he would be with us always. He instructed us to abide- to hold on to him in every moment. He told us that his power is made perfect in our weakness. 

    So yes, brokenness can be discouraging and be everything that we do not want. But God can make victories out of brokenness. How cool is that God takes the very thing Satan tried to use to separate us and uses it to pull us closer to him! How amazing is it that he took on our brokenness to have a relationship with us? He wants us to understand our brokenness, be real with ourselves, and fully rely on him. He wants us to come to him and say, “Abba, I NEED you.” So, are you attempting to escape brokenness today? Is it hitting you like a ton of bricks? Regardless of what is happening, NOW is the time for surrender. NOW is the time to abide. RUN. TO. HIM. He is waiting for you.